there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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