Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
