hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
