I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
