bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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