so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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