Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Randomize