I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
