why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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