I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
