and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
