You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
