Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
