We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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