I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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