Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
