ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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