he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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