Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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