I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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