Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
How drunk are you?
Completed.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
