pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
