bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
