The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize
