that's an acceptable place to lick
you didnt know i had herpes?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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