He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
