what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
