I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
