I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Randomize
