She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
organizing the empties. That sober.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
jump out the window naked night went bad
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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