We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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