You made me cry and you don't even care
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
there is glitter all over my balls
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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