this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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