last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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