No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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