your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
