Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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