I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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