Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
