I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Randomize
