I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
