problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Randomize
