Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
