once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I've blown a few things in my day
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
