you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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