I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
if only i could text you this smell
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
