doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
