I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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