I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
