no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize
