it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
