He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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