remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Randomize
