I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize