yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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