Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
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