You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
They have beer where we have blood.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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