just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize