You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
