Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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