it was like getting a handjob from robocop
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
