I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
