haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
The beers last night were like the tears from god
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
