glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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