judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
