how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
