I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
