btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
