How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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