That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
