I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
