I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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