My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
