just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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