just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
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